Why I Can't Take a Pottery Class by Meg Bashwiner

I would really like to take a pottery class. I’ve always wanted to but never have. They are supposed to be good for relaxation. I live in Upstate New York where it is easier to sign up for a pottery class than it is to sign up to be a paid attendee at a Trump rally.

But I can’t take a pottery class because I don’t really have the time. I have a serious career and a husband and a family and room for very little else and other reasons that are, of course, totally bullshit. Most people have jobs and spouses some people even have children. 

So what if one day I did take a pottery class…

and what if I like it and I wanted to get better at it…

So maybe I would take more classes …

and then I make friends and then maybe I start occasionally filling in to teach, you know just whenever they need someone…

and then teaching a beginner class once a week...

And then maybe I teach more and I take over scheduling. And then I take over teacher training and supervising the kiln hours, and ordering clay and herbal tea. And Its all going great! Then I start helping the studio to become a non profit and so next i’m in charge of grants! And boards! and still the kiln but people are starting to really be stupid about the kiln. They don’t respect the schedule and they leave things in the kiln, but they are still allowed to use the kiln even though they don’t follow the rules, because its just a fucking pottery studio not Nazi Germany but I still follow the rules. The rules that I made and laminated and put on the wall by the kiln- the kiln that I make sure is serviced and clean so that EEEEEEVERBODY can fire their pots and their mugs and their vases with vaginal motifs. Maybe I should just stop following these rules too? It certainly is a lot easier to not adhere to the Kiln schedule let me tell you what Mister. But I have to set an example, OK? I helped write the bylaws and filled the articles of incorporation for fuck’s sake. I have given this studio every moment of my time and now there is nothing left in the tank and what do I have to show for it huh!? A salad bowl? A group of middle aged Hudson Valleyites who resent me for trying to control their joy? Crippling stress about a fucking KILN?! 

No Sir, that is why I cannot take a pottery class. I just don’t have room for something like that in my life right now. Do you know if you can do air traffic control as a hobby?